


Peace Found At Home

by Guardian_Rose



Category: Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dorian Pavus/Inquisitor Lavellan - Background, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Varric knows so much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-05-01 07:33:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14515476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Guardian_Rose/pseuds/Guardian_Rose
Summary: Fenris ducked his head, letting the strands of hair that had escaped from its tie hide some of his face. “I have a list.”“A list?” Hawke cocked his head to the side, spoon halfway to his mouth.“Of people I let close.”“That’s...letting someone close is different to say, being okay or wanting someone close, Fen. It’s okay if you don’t want anyone close; I can give you more space, if that’s what you want?”“No. I-...” Fenris shook his head, looking up as he took one of Hawke’s hands in his own. “It’s a list of people I am comfortable with touching then.”Hawke let out a sigh, smiling softly. “Can I hear it?”





	Peace Found At Home

**Author's Note:**

> Not beta read because I was too tired to ask anyone, all mistakes my own.

Fenris hadn’t put much thought to how little he touched people beyond fighting. He hated the memories but he had to admit that he’d been used to being touched; whether it being Danarius’ hands or being roughly manhandled by strangers Danarius was using him to impress, whilst withholding the names of the members of the Magisterium to whom he was flaunted and sometimes lent. It was a way of making him feel less in control, less intelligent. Completely at Danarius’ mercy. 

 

Whilst on the run he found solace in not being touched, in having his own area of personal space. A bubble, one of the Fog Warriors had called it. He had control over who he let close enough to brush shoulders or elbows. Who sat in the chair next to him, close enough that their legs would knock against each other occasionally. Who he accepted a helping hand from when knocked down. 

 

There weren’t many who were allowed through. Few enough to count on one hand. Even fewer who knew it. Only one who regularly exercised the privilege. They were who he had fought harder than he had thought possible to protect in the fall of Kirkwall and it may have been his imagination or the influence of adrenaline and the array of smokes Isabela had deployed but he liked to think that his friends had fought hard to keep him safe too. Hawke certainly had. Fighting with a ferocity that was born of exhausted frustration, flinging ice as easily as breathing at anyone who was too close to his friends. Those who were left. 

 

With Anders gone, Hawke had had to pick up the healing duties too. He had known enough of the basics from when he’d first lost Bethany in the Deep Roads, all those years ago before Hawke had come to a peace with Anders, but not enough for the fight to be smooth. Fenris had followed him every step of the way, drawing attention towards himself so Hawke could do what was needed to ensure their survival. Even at the end, he had argued for peace. He’d have called the man insane, delusional to call for peace talks when the city burnt around them but...he also understood. 

 

“You’re lost in thought again.” 

 

“Perhaps. You, for once, are not.” 

 

“Fenris…”

 

“I do not hold it against you, Hawke; you have survived too much not to linger on the shadows.”

 

“You have been through worse.”

 

He scowled, eyes flicking up from stirring their dinner to meet Hawke’s before glancing away again. “I was thinking of something the Fog Warriors...introduced me to.”

 

“Was it dirty? Was that why you were glaring at our stew?” Hawke teased, eyes crinkling with the force of his smile as he leaned against the fireplace.

 

“You know it wasn’t.”

 

“But your face is always so cute when I mention dirty things, you never reacted to Isabela.”

 

“Isabela was different. Go get the bowls.”

 

Hawke scoffed but did as he was told and brought their only bowls over so Fenris could serve at last. “What did they teach you about?” He asked once they were sitting opposite each other at their slightly rickety table.

 

“That I get to choose who touches me and is in my space. I am not under an obligation to let every stranger or friend be close enough to touch.” 

 

“A personal space bubble.” Hawke nodded. “Carver was very...conscientious about who was close to him as well. Bethany was the exception, even when they were kids. He didn’t like being touched often or for a long time and he would only let a few people close.”

 

Fenris ducked his head, letting the strands of hair that had escaped from its tie hide some of his face. “I have a list.”

 

“A list?” Hawke cocked his head to the side, spoon halfway to his mouth.

 

“Of people I let close.”

 

“That’s... _ letting _ someone close is different to say, being okay or wanting someone close, Fen. It’s okay if you don’t want anyone close; I can give you more space, if that’s what you want?” 

 

“No. I-...” Fenris shook his head, looking up as he took one of Hawke’s hands in his own. “It’s a list of people I am comfortable with touching then.”

 

Hawke let out a sigh, smiling softly. “Can I hear it?”

 

“Varric. Isabela and Aveline. And you.” 

 

“I’m last? How callous of you! And here I was, thinking I was loved enough to be first place.”

 

Fenris smirked, rolling his eyes. “Who says the list was in any order?”   
  


“Oh? So I  _ am _ at the top?”

 

Fenris hummed, raising an eyebrow at Hawke’s proud smile. “Aveline.”

 

“What? That’s- What?” 

 

“Isabela.”

 

“You- aren’t even-”

 

“Varric.”

 

“Bastard.” 

 

“And Garrett Hawke.”

 

“You are such a tease.” Hawke grumbled, tugging at the red cloth on Fenris’ wrist before the elf withdrew his hand to start eating again.

 

“Your stew is going cold, you can make it even when we’ve eaten.”

 

“Hmm you bet I will. Oh, are you going to go into the village with me tomorrow morning? We should have a letter from Varric by now.”

 

*****

 

“Fenris, you haven’t said two words to me all day.  _ Please _ , just say something. Yell at me, shout at me,  _ anything _ .” Hawke begged, the letter still on the table from that morning when he’d brought it home to Fenris. 

 

“I would not ask me to do that, Hawke. You won’t like it.” Fenris crossed his arms, still stubbornly looking out the window with his back turned to Hawke who was wringing his hands.

 

“I don’t care. I am asking.” 

 

“And I am refusing. Or are you going to deny me even that choice now?” Fenris hissed, anger flaring.

 

Hawke flinched but this wasn’t something to be solved with fighting.”We both know full well that if you want to then you will follow after me and I cannot stop you.”

 

“Yet you still asked!” Fenris snapped, whirling round and jabbing a pointed finger into Hawke’s chest, red trailing from his wrist.

 

“I promised you peace. I am more than willing to fight for your peace.”

 

“I have no peace of mind without you near, Hawke.” 

 

Hawke groaned, dragging a hand down his face as Fenris’ pointed finger flattened so the palm of his hand was covering Hawke’s heart. “Andraste’s ass, Fen, you can’t just  _ say _ things like that.”

 

“I am yours, Garrett.”

 

“And I am yours. My heart, my soul, my magic.” Hawke whispered back, reverently lifting Fenris’ hand to kiss the backs of his knuckles and then the crimson favour.

 

“We are better together than apart, you know that. This is no different. Do not ask me to let you go when there is a chance I will lose you. Let me stay yours, for as long as I can be.” 

 

*****

 

Fenris hadn’t seen such a mixing of races and people before. Skyhold was a haven for absolutely everyone it appeared. Everyone seemed to...not hate each other. The mages seemed to stay separate from former templars still, from what he’d seen when sneaking into the stronghold in the middle of the night as Varric had suggested, but there were no obvious tensions. They were just guards on watch duty together. It was... _ something _ , as Hawke had said.

 

They were currently in the kitchens, tucked close together in the corner catching up with Varric over a hot meal and wine. Apparently, no one who would potentially recognise them was likely to stumble their way into the kitchen for a midnight snack. 

 

“I’m telling you, Hawke! I thought you and Broody were bad, I had no idea. I’d do anything to go back to those days. At least you two acknowledged each other’s feelings and flirted and all that shit. Dorian is either a lot more stupid than I thought, or Lavellan is only obvious to me. You’ll see soon enough-”

 

“Fire. Smoke. Isabela’s and from the houses. Screams. So many screams. Innocent and guilty. All my fault. Keep him safe. The city is lost but keep him safe. Promised him peace.” 

 

“Broody, sit back down.” Varric waved his hand placatingly, tugging at the suddenly appeared boy to sit on the floor. “And stop with the mini snow storms, Hawke. This is Cole, I warned you about his...habit.”

 

“He’s at peace with you. There is no need to feel guilty.” Cole said before letting Varric shoo him away. 

 

Fenris turned to look up at Hawke, squeezing his hand in reassurance as he tried to see past the walls to know which words were best to soothe. 

 

“I’m okay.” Hawke said softly, smiling back at Fenris before pressing a kiss to his forehead. “I’m okay.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> This is not the original fic I had planned for my 100th fanfic published on here. Not even the same ship or universe. But I think it's pretty fitting that these two are my 100th fic. I wanted to say an extra thank you to everyone who's read my fics before and to those who just read the occasional ones and probably aren't reading this, I appreciate every single one of you. Here's hoping I get to 200 one day! 
> 
> Thank you for reading! <3
> 
> Any and all comments welcome! Especially prompts! <3
> 
> Find me on tumblr @guardian-rose-petal for general multifandom mess and original writing too! <3


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